Harry's Hairy Arms
by Krazie-Beautiful
Summary: Harry's quest to rid himself of his hairy arms
1. Hairy Arms

Harry's Hairy arms  
  
There was once a guy called Harry Potter who was very ugly-so ugly that he was not allowed 5 meters near a mirror for he would shatter it to pieces. One day he decided to undergo plastic surgery. The doctor said that he had very hairy arms and he had never seen anything this ugly. He then decided to ask Michael Jackson for advice to look like a girl since he had lousy luck looking like a guy. Michael Jackson took one look at Harry's arms and was so horrified he ran off to his mummy.  
  
Would Harry ever find a way to cure his hairy arms that look as though they belong to a gorilla? .we think not o.O Harry is truly doomed!!!  
  
His mother then introduced him to Draco Malfoy, an expert on losing hairy arms. He took one look at those hideous arms and decided it was incurable! Harry felt like committing suicide. That's when Professor Lochart came along to tell Harry his secret formula to get rid of hair. Harry was overjoyed! He would be hairy no longer!  
  
When Harry tried to use this formula, he accidentally put on too much. The formula backfired and Harry became hairier than ever. "This is terrible," Harry thought. There was no way Harry would ever get to look handsome and have a girlfriend. Finally, Harry decided to admit defeat and take a walk down memory lane.  
  
It had all started on a warm spring afternoon. Harry was practicing quidditch with his fellow Gryffindor team mates. He had the snitch within his grasp when "BAM!" Harry looked around to find where the noise had come from. There was no one on the quidditch pitch except for the Gryffindor quidditch team. All of a sudden it started raining "Michael Jackson is hot" badges. George Weasley seized a bad and suddenly a horror-struck look appeared on his face. "God, it's hideous!"  
  
The badge then glued itself onto George's quidditch robes. No sooner had that happened, a badge had glued itself onto Harry's robes. Harry knew who did this. There was no bigger Michael Jackson fan at Hogwarts than Professor Snape. When Harry arrived at Snape's office, he expected Snape to deny the fact he had even heard of Michael Jackson. He walked in and found every single piece of Michael Jackson collectible every made and in the corner an evil rubber ducky which was red and had black horns. This left Harry thoroughly disturbed.  
  
"I don't like Michael Jackson!" Harry said to Snape. "I demand you take remove the badge from my robes!"  
  
"Fine, but only if you plait my hair!" Snape replied.  
  
As strange as this request was, Harry fulfilled it. "Now change me back!"  
  
Snape gave Harry a potion which he guaranteed would remove the badge. Harry eyed Snape suspiciously, but in the end took the potion despite every nerve in his body telling him not to. Harry felt light-headed and dizzy. He woke up to find Snape looking down at him cackling and that his arms were 50 times as hairier than they were before.  
  
"I forgot to tell you, hairy arms are a side-effect," Snape continued his ear-splitting cackle. 


	2. Dreaming Dreams

Chapter 2  
  
I'm glad you enjoyed my first chapter ^_^. The second chapter was written by myself and only myself because my fellow team members decided to abandon me. *sigh* Oh well, on with the story!  
  
So now you know how it had happened.Harry's delightful stroll down memory lane came to an abrupt stop when his scar seared with pain. "Lord Mouldy Wart must be up to something again!" Harry muttered to himself. Harry opened his eyes to find that he had mysteriously made his way to the Great Hall. Everyone in the Great Hall including Cho Chang, Harry's crush, was staring at him in horror. Harry did not understand what had just happened. "Why is everyone looking at me?" he wondered to himself. Harry's head felt heavy. He looked down to find a pool of blood on the floor. Harry's head was spinning. "I think it's time for me to faint now," Harry thought to himself and with that he plonked onto the ground.  
  
"Harry. Harry wake up." Harry opened his eyes to find Cho Chang standing over him. They were in the hospital wing. "What am I?" Harry started but Cho cut him off. "Harry I just came to tell you that I- but at that second, Cho had morphed into Professor Snape. However, this was not the ordinary, greasy-haired, hooked-nosed, pale looking Snape. This Snape was wearing a white halter neck top with a pink rah-rah skirt and his hair was in pigtails. "Harry I just came to tell you that I think your hair is perdy," Snape smiled shyly. Harry stared shocked and appalled at what he had just seen and heard. "Why are you doing this to me?" Harry asked. "I dunno. It was your twisted sub-conscious that dreamed this whole scene up not mine!" Snape replied and with that he disappeared into thin air.  
  
Harry was woken abrupty by the sound of Madame Pomfrey's voice. "Harry Potter!" Madame Pomfrey yelled. "Thank goodness you're awake! I was beginning to think you'd slipped into a coma." Harry opened his eyes and saw her towering over him as he lay in the hospital bed. He was so glad to be awake he didn't notice that he was lying on a bed of chicken drumsticks. "What happened?" Harry asked. "I don't know what you're talking about," replied Madame Pomfrey. "But if you meant to ask what was the greatest thing to have happen to his world, that of course would be chicken!" "Oh god," Harry thought.  
  
~End of second chapter~  
  
My story is quiet bizarre, I admit, but it was fun to write! I hope you enjoyed reading my first two chapters! 


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